Thursday, February 10, 2011

DeAr DiArY..

Well, today was way better than yesterday. I feel like this journey sometimes takes a toll on me, but I think back and realize that Jesus had some days like that as well; he's the ultimate role model; my BEST friend; like seriously! He forgives me, he sees my potential. I REALLY appreciate that! :) Even though sometimes my actions show otherwise, I really do love him with all my heart. I'm thankful that he chose ME; little ol' ME. The girl who burps loudly on purpose, the girl who rolls her eyes when she's irritated, the girl who doesn't always think happy thoughts, the girl who isn't ALWAYS the nicest, little ol' ME! That's why I can honestly say no one.. I REPEAT.. NO ONE compares to him on this earth. This seems like a lonely walk but he is right there by my side holding my hand; unashamed. Never slandering my name or reminding me of the past. He allows me to be free and to be ME!:) I am who I am, yes, but like him is what I want to be.. I sometimes complain too much and rely on others for moral support; please forgive me.. I shouldn't do that! Work on me Lord! To others I'm an alien; an outkast; I don't belong here.. But then I had to realize that I'm a citizen of Heaven.. I know what it means to be misunderstood; your CLOSET friends sometimes may not even get you! But that's ok, because God does! I really need to work on my mind! That's where my negativity takes place; I'm trying.. I like things that certain people don't; I don't want to conform or tone down my interests for the liking of others.. It's just not natural, not to mention unfair! I'm a virgin, most people don't see the point, but I find it very important! I like chocolate and tube socks :) I LOVE my sanity! Jesus is the result of this.. I don't feel like I'm "finding myself", I'm just merely discovering "new" things about me; some that I like and others I don't.. I'm going to work on changing the things I don't like.. I wear an A-cup in bras and I'm pretty satisfied with that; I weigh 120 lbs and I'm ok with that :) I like me.. I love my smile and my weird peguin walk; it makes me who I am.. I had to learn for a LONG time that you cannot be anyone else but yourself; its TOO draining to try and copy someone ALL the time.. Sometimes I feel like I'm not treated like the way I treat others, but Im content with that; because I look back at what Jesus had to endure; no one said it was going to be easy.. I am eternally grateful for the ones around me who TRULY wanted to see me suceed:) There's nothing on this earth that I could pay you back with; yall deserve WWAAYY much more!I want to grow up and teach my children EVERYTHING that I have learned in life; many people talk about life but they NEVER say the things that are in the fine print.. I love you Jesus.. Never leave my side..

Stay encourage, positive and unique
-Kidd :)



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