check out my other blog: kiddkrazykonceptions.tumblr.com && follow me on twitter: spider_kee08 :]

I miss my brother. :/

Justin Bieber - Mistletoe

It'S cHrIsTmAs EvE! :]

In the Words of Satan - The Arrows

MeRrY cHrIsTmAs :]

RaNdOm..

I haven't been on here in a while, because of this past semester. I feel like I have so much to say, but I've got nothing. Well the semester is finally over and my GPA for the semester was a 3.8; thank you Jesus! I worked really hard this semester (and prayed a lot too lol). Christmas is in 4 days and I didn't buy my Christmas presents yet! :/ But don't worry I'll do it tomorrow. I have one more semester until graduation! YAY! My 21st birthday was two weeks ago, and I got 21 sweet teas! YES! That's all for right now, but I will try and keep you updated.

-Kidd

My WeEk

This year has been something else. There has been a lot of change and frankly I don't know if I'm ready for all of it yet.. But I must be, because God wouldn't let me go through things he didn't think that I was ready.. I heard that with separation comes elevation.. And that has honestly been my motto for the last several weeks.. I may not know exactly what God is doing but I know that he has my best interest at heart.. And that ministers to my soul more than I even know!

Lord, I pray that you continue to keep me and my family. Help us to seek You first and You only. Even though my situation doesn't look as positive, I'm believing Your word; you will get me out of this situation; with my obedience and patience I will prosper. Thank you Lord for Your grace and Your mercy. Thank you for never leaving me or forsaking me. I love you.

Your Daughter,
Kiesha

Beyoncé - I Was Here (Live at Roseland)

A Little Confession..

Sorry I haven't been on here in a little while, but I do have a confession to make so I thought why not blog it.. Well, this is my last year of undergrad (c/o2012) and I'm seriously scared. I have no idea what I'm going to do after college:/ That bothers me a whole bunch! I've tried to plan out my future but it never goes according to what I plan, but that's because I was doing it my way and not God's way(it actually works out better than my previous planning).. It took me some years to fully understand that.. I'm just waiting and trusting on God for guidance.. Its the only way I know how..

Lord, I pray you give me guidance and assurance of my future.. Remove the worry and timidness and restore it with boldness and confidence.. Help me to minister to other young adults and help me to uplift my fellow brothers and sisters in life.. Thank you for your grace and your mercy.. Thank you Lord for my gifts and talents.. I am going to use them to broaden your kingdom.. Reveal yourself to me and help me with my future..

Your daughter,
Kiesha :]

Fourth-Life Crisis, TAD && My Boyfriend

For some reason over the summer I felt like I was going through a fourth-life (Instead of a mid-life) crisis.. I feel a whole lot better now.. It was kind of weird, maybe I was just bored.. Anyways over fall break I wasn't able to go back home, but I did however get a chance to go to TAD (Tennessee Association of Dance). Which was like two days full of dance! I took a contemporary jazz && hip hop class with Jennifer Archibald (founder of Arch Dance based in New York) and it was VERY exciting! Overall I enjoyed myself and I was glad that I didn't get a chance to go home, because then I would have never got the chance to dance! Oh, and my boyfriend came to visit yesterday, it was for a few hours but it was totally worth it.. He bought me some chicken nuggets (with BBQ sauce) and a sweet tea! He is great! Not just for that, but for just being who he is.. We also prayed together (even though it was just grace, it still meant a lot to me!).. Thank you Lord for blessing me with someone like him! Jesus is the reason! :] God has truly blessed me!

-Kidd

P.S. My mom just came back from New York, because her sister (My Aunt) produced a play and her and some other family members were able to go to the opening.. Congrats Auntie Katori! :]

Boyfriend/Bestfriend && I

Lonely but Never Alone.

ThEmE FoR eNgLiSh B (pArT ii)

The instructor said,

Go home and think

About a time in your life.

A time you vividly remember, something personal—

Something relatable.

I find that very difficult.

I am twenty, of color, born in California.

I am half African-American, one-fourth of Italian and one-fourth of Native American.

My experience as a child was different than as an adult due to my heritage.

My father was in the military, diversity was not foreign or irrelative.

The day I moved to Tennessee was when the diversity became more of solidarity.

The children were still enforced with the South’s segregation laws and slave mentalities,

Some questioned my father’s abilities while sympathizing with my mother’s struggles in life.

How could they know? How would they ever know? Me—them—us?

Constant murmurs of “She thinks she better,” or “She got good hair,”

The un-correspondence of my parent’s skin color

Was a parallel to my understanding of these abstract ideals.

My fair skin is yet too light for you but still too dark for you

But I still try to compromise my abilities and knowledge for your gratitude

And still get nowhere? How?

Will I or should I? My outer appearance reveals the struggle of my ancestors

Black and white.

Not relying on the government or non-believers for help.

Struggle does not portray a color.

Will my experience as a human still be relatable?

Can I still depict a message?

I favor musicians with concentrations in blues, rock and hip hop, but not because of my skin.

It is who I am, Kiesha.

They expect you to be either white or black,

This or that, her or she, him or he, them.

But never acknowledging the shades of gray,

Does the term “melting pot” mean anything to you?

Human is my race, it distinctively separates me from insects and reptiles,

Isn’t that what is most important?

Does the fact that I have a black mother mean I love fried chicken and cornbread?

Or the fact that my father is white means I love to hike mountains and climb trees?

No.

It could be because that is what I am, my color non-existent.

I am reminded of how I look everyday when I wake up,

A girl with a mother, black, and a father, white, but most importantly an American.

This is my page for English B (Part II).

CuRrEnTlY..

Losers man! I promise! Imma have to show them how to do it! It's getting TOO irritating.. No this isn't 'bout YOU! lol..

Beyonce Flaunts Baby Bump in Bikini

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

Hey y'all, I'm posting sooner than I thought I would be. Coming into this school year. I was kind of excited, but I'm kind of annoyed now. Nothing specific, but I just know that I am TOO ready to graduate though. It was like this my senior year in high school. But it'll all be over before you know it. I am really going to focus on God && my school work, everything else can and WILL wait! Well, I'll probably go into detail later on.. lol.. But anyways y'all have a wonderful morning. :]

R.I.P BaBy GiRl 1979-2001

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

So.. It'll probably be a while until I post another post, because school is starting. :/ lol.. But anyways, I return back to school THIS Saturday and I have to admit I am a little nervous, but in a good way.. I have a lot to do once I get back, but I know with God's help I can do it all! :] Well until next time I love you guys and I will try and keep you guys updated during the school year..

-Kidd :]

pain && discomfort= another reason why I'm ready to go to heaven!

I would like to take this time to say I apologize mom; I didn't mean any harm by it; I'll stop doing that, especially because I need to and you don't like it; I hope you can forgive me! :[

ThE "IsSuE"/tHe "UlTiMaTe" ReSuLt :]

BEFORE:

AFTER:

ChEcK tHiS oUt..

http://www.fastweb.com/referral/spider_kee08

I'm not a big fan of animals but THIS is cute for some odd reason; lol..

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

Thank goodness tomorrow is a NEW day full of NEW mercies, NEW possibilities and opportunities :]

"Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it,"-Kiesha and others..

A Woman Should Have By Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …..
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

i HATE financial aid!

ADELE - 'ROLLING IN THE DEEP' Follow @ddbmusic

Chris Brown + Rihanna - All Back

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

Well, everyone who knows me, knows that I'm not the best chef (for various reasons lol), but I would just like to let you guys know that I just learned how to make mashed potatoes! YAY! lol.. Nothing but, well who AM I kidding.. IT IS BIG! lol.. To be continued..

ThrIfT-iNg

A lifestyle or just a fad? Time will soon tell..

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

'Bout to watch a bunch of hair tutorials on youtube #random

A Single Black Man - Anjanae Crump

I just spelled the word "pretty" wrong on the picture's caption below, but it just displays how human I am :] It's OK to make mistakes, just dnt make the same mistake twice; lol.. Thakyou Lord, for my many second chances! :]

*this is an old picture, but i think we look preety; lol*

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

So I got all 4 of my wisdom pulled out yesterday and I haven't been able to tell the story so here it goes.. lol..

The night before I was super nervous, for a lot of different reasons..
The next morning I went to the dentist office (oral surgeon) and I couldn't eat or drink anything that morning..
So They called me in and I sat in a chair..
The dentist hooked me up to an iv and it instanly put me to sleep lol..
I woke up and I was in the car.. Still kinda "high"..
My brother and mom helped me to my bed..
I was okay for the next few hours, but then the meds started wearing off and boy did it hurt, i almost cried..
My mom was going from Walgreen's to Walgreen's to try and get all my medication..
Three hours later she returned and boy was I happy..
And instead of pills the doc gave me liquids to take and anyone who knows me knows I was TOO happy 'bout that.. lol..
Each hour it got better and better..
This morning I felt good and I finally was able to remove the gauze from my gums; it was like a weight lifted off of my shoulder :]
I'm at day 2 but I can't wait for day 3 :]
I'm glad I got them all out the way at the same time, but so far I've missed out on kfc, twinkies && stir fry :(
Don't worry in a couple of days I'll be able to eat solid foods again lol..
-Kidd

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

I love my boyfriend. :]

#NP "See World," by J Cole :]

The Shaniya Davis Story! R.I.P

ShAnIyA dAvIs 5 YeArS oLd..

My mood right now is messed up... I’m pretty much fed up with the hatred of THIS world... Don’t confuse this with a suicide letter because this is the complete opposite... This is a redemption letter and sign of awareness... There are a lot of people in this world with shrewd emotions and views... Maybe of life or the opposite sex... Whatever the reason it’s pretty messed up... I’m fed up with EVERYTHING... the drama, drugs, sex, liquor, murder, distraught, disrespect, racism, discrimination, deceit, mayhem... EVERYTHING... That’s how I know that this place is not where I belong; I belong in heaven with my heavenly father... I honestly do not know how Jesus survived this cruel world... It brings tears to my eyes sometimes! I just HATE the fact that I cannot save EVERYONE! All this excess crap that we as humans allow and do... Let’s eliminate it before it’s too late... Prostitutes, pimps, whores... Instead of judging them let’s take the time to listen to their stories, I mean after all who are we to judge... We may not have made their same mistakes, but at the end of the day we’re only one bad decision away from being where they are... The hurt, broken, mistreated... Let’s embrace them instead of overlooking their conditions... Jesus dwells inside of us, why would you even want to disregard that?! I recently hear a song by my man J Cole named “See World,” it brought tears to my eyes... Shaniya Davis, I’m not sure if I spelled that right... Why in the hell would a grown ass man ignore her innocence...? COWARD! So you think you a big man just because you prostituted her body?! HELL NO! That makes you equal to the scum of the earth... I’m not going to blame you though, I blame that person who messed YOU up; and so on and so forth... We as humans and Christians especially need to pray for this world... Though we are not citizens of this foreign land we are still here for a peculiar reason... I just want to make sure that I do what God wanted me to do before I leave this earth... God please forgive me for cursing... It just makes me so upset, ever since I can remember... Even when I was younger I would cry... I just need to know how I can try and save at least one person... I know Jesus didn’t do his first miracle until he was 33 but we are living in the last days and Jesus’ return is near, more closely than then... I pray God removes the fear and instills boldness instead... I want to be remembered as a strong, virtuous woman of God who loved his people and gave humanity a chance... Someone who tried hard and fought for justice... Someone who hated and liked what God did... Someone who made mistakes and used them in her testimony... Someone who was forgiving and not judgmental... Someone who didn’t rely on her physical attributes but rather her inner being... I’m tired of sugar-coating things... It’s time for God’s people to rise up... Worldly humans stick together why can’t God’s people? Satan thinks he knows what he is trying to do, but little does he know GOD will have the last word... Satan gets on my last nerves I PROMISE! So much sorrow and pain he’s tried to inflict on God’s people... Lord be with us, we cannot survive without you! That’s why I don’t believe atheists are truly happy?! How can you be?! I would be insane without Jesus! All I can say is that I love the Lord and I’m going to have to do better... WE have to do better...

SoMeTiMeS i FeEl LiKe ThIs..

Know The History: The Planking Edition

Know The History: The Planking Edition

dinner + church= good saturday :]

sidebar: i love you jesus!

Beyonce - End Of Time (Live )

*EVERYTIME I see her perform she makes me wanna cry [in a good way of course lol] :]

Dear Lord,

Help me!

-Kidd

My ChEaP uNdErWeAr && My GiFt CaRd :]

Hey y'all! Well my uncle gave me a gift card for my (late) high school graduation present and boy was i thrilled. I bought a couple of items. I ordered some chambray pants online for 'bout $20 plus tax; great buy, especially since the original price was I say 'bout $40 or $50. I also ordered some black combat boots online too for 'bout the same price (yea I am late on the combat boots lol). I also went to target today and got two pairs of underwear, one for $1 && the other for .75 cents! I also bought a t-shirt at wally world! The most unexpected item I guess was my Vick's vaporizer.. Dnt ask! I still want a humidifier for when I go back to college #random ..

-Kidd

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

I really have an urge to go the thrift store. :]

SoMeTiMeS i FeEl LiKe ThIs..

LeT's Go..

So check this out.. I'm trying to stay as youthful as possible.. I feel as children we were more grounded and confident as a people.. This previous statement may vary.. Yes, these days children are exposed to HUGE amounts of stupidity, but they are overall innocent.. I remember as a child when certain things that didn't bother me seem to bother me now.. All I was concerned with was playing outside with the neighborhood kids, or going swimming on the weekends, or going to the grocery store.. Now times have changed.. I like kissing my boyfriend, and like to wear skinny jeans, and I like to go shopping.. One of my goals in life is to try my best to stay as youthful as possible, on the inside.. We as young adults need to get our life in order ASAP! So what if he didn't call you back.. Or if your check wasn't as big as you wanted it to be.. Life is worth far much more.. Easier said than done! I got a lot of work to do myself..

-Kidd

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

This past weekend I went to Nashville for the weekend; let's just say that the trip was very interesting; lol..

-Kidd

I love YOU. PUNK.

LOVE this song && HER voice! :]

"I am who I am, I'm gone be who I be,"- DMX



RaNdOm ThOuGhTs..

I just noticed that a lot of the time when I'm writing, I "alter" my writing. I wonder is it because I don't want to hurt others feelings and escape their opinions or am I just scared of the truth?!

-Kidd

SoMaLiA [a PoEm]

*DISCLAIMER: INSPIRED BY A WOMAN*

I am...

I am as cool as the summer breeze.

The bass in the hip hop beat, that's me...

My hair is as free as my spirit.

I am allowed to reconcile, no limits.

My sibling displayed a more "common" personality in spite of me...

It helped me achieve my current condition.

My Mohawk is as lined as my ambition.

I am desired and driven.

I have dreams, some unbelievable as tangled ribbons.

My skin color allows me to experience the ugly of humanity.

I love, my heart is enormous, others cannot resist.

That man oh how I wish he could change.

My relationships are long term and forgiving.

I replay hurt over and over.

Because I don't want the guys generally to take order.

Of my heart and mind that is..

I am a leader and an independent woman.

But my immune system results to my illness.

I love relaxation.

It's an escape from aggravation.

My curves represent my continuing belief in humanity.

I want a man who knows my pain and accepts my present.

I want a man to Love me and me entirely.

I want a man who serves God and loves his family.

Someone who represents a strong man.

Aggression and agility are his strengths.

I am... Somalia...

SoPhIa [A pOeM]

*DISCLAIMER: INSPIRED BY A WOMAN*

I am...

I am the crimson in the moon.

Reliant, never moved.

I am grounded and assured.

Persistence keeps me caged like a bird.

My cycles are repetitive and kept aligned.

I sometimes rely on my heart rather than my mind.

I am as delicate as the inside of flowers just bloomed.

My affection sometimes results to my doom.

I question myself and desert assertiveness.

Instead I wait on that first kiss.

My inner being is shunned like robbers in courtrooms.

I lend pieces of my heart to others too soon.

I cannot compete with the city lights or see my name on billboards.

But that is my truest desire, autographs galore.

My smile hides my insecurities and require attentiveness.

My sheltered soul has accomplished my resist.

My physique does not question my presence.

I am as light as a feather but strong as an elephant.

I bare my past and tangle the present.

I am still affected and sometimes regret it...

My eyes are as wide as the Pacific Ocean.

Yes I confess, I tend to be soft spoken.

I represent a generation of women who suffer from heart ache.

I cannot fathom the mistakes.

I want a man who realizes my present state.

I need a support system, someone who I trust.

I love unconditionally and appreciate, I must.

It's who I am, it's a part of my personality.

I want a man who appreciates the arts and doesn't steal the best of me.

I am... Sophia..

SePhOrA [A pOeM]

*DISCLAIMER: INSPIRED BY A WOMAN*

I am...

I am like the thief in the night.

The heartbeat of your freight.

I take what I want and do as I please.

Your chivalry, does not amuse me.

I am the fire in your fury.

I am the wrath; your a conspiracy.

Appease me, provide my needs,

If not, well then you'll see.

I recognize your attempts and except your kindness

But it is nowhere close to my highness.

I don't depend on your innocent reveals

Or the way you try to conceal.

I use my arrogance as a crutch and determine my future.

I am not full of vulgar words;

I let my actions speak, relevant as it may seem.

I record my true inner thoughts which result to my fortress.

Trespass and you shall be punished; you wish you could have this.

I am not elegant or fragile.

I travel the distance, even miles...

Not leaving a trace behind, I move, rather nomadic.

My breath and touch, metaphorically you crave them, comparable to an addict.

Raise a finger or even consider an option, I vanish.

I can tell... you can't manage.

I need a man to appreciate my independent qualities.

Accept all of me...

I want a man to support a little, get his hands dirty, bleed.

The roughness of your skin, the nobleness of a steed.

Be aggressive, tell me no.

Just let me know if you can't cope...

I figured...

I am... Sephora...

In ReLaTiOn To Us..

Our love is different then their love,

This is how I feel at this current moment,

Subject to change at any time,

I hate watching romantic movies,

especially if they're about two insecure individuals who are ungrateful

and are co-dependent of one another, who have sex with each other on their first meeting,

Who go against wisdom and have no morals,

it just doesn't relate to us,

I hate hearing love songs about two individuals who go through trials and tribulations

due to the two individuals careless mistakes,

who suffer consequences because of the irrelevant, undeserving, non-reliant,

company of each other,

they do not relate to us,

I want to watch a movie about two individuals who survive uncompromising situations,

separated by several miles,

whose options are outweighed due to society,

who are forced to deal.

I want to hear love songs about two individuals who rely on their foundations and wisdom of their loved ones,

who show their positivity and strength through their actions and words,

Now that relates to us...

My EaR, sEcReT && A sPeCiAl FrIeNd :]

Well today has been on of my highlights of the summer! Minus this first part I'm 'bout to tell you guys :[ Well I went to the ear doctor and he said that I have some type of bump on my eardrum AGAIN! I had got it on my ear drum a few months earlier! In the SAME ear! UGH! Sucks, but I'm going to be OK thanks to God && my ear drops. Anyways I also have a secret to tell y'all: I'M READY TO GO TO SCHOOL, sadly! I'm not bored at home or anything, I'm just ready to do something a little more productive ya know?! Well last but not least! My boyfriend came to visit me! YYYAAAYYY! I was VERY i repeat VERY happy to see him! Even though it was only for a few hours it was soooo worth it! He makes me very happy && boy am I thankful for him! Well that's it for now.. I gotta go put my ear drops in now! ugh! lol..

-Kidd

So my name is usually put in songs as the chick who is the side-piece, the lil' junt, basically in an unofficial light and perspective. But in this song I'm actually the love interest, the main chick, the good-girl perhaps :) I love it!

Adele - Rolling In The Deep cover by Zewdy

This is my 100th post! Yay me! :]

ChEcK tHiS oUt..

*Sidebar: I love her style! check her blog out: anchoponcho.blogspot.com *

RaNdOM tHoUgHt..

Just got a tumblr, follow me: kiddkrazykonceptions.tumblr.com :)

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

So here it goes.. So I'm pretty fed up at this point with EVERYTHING! lol.. Like for real! So here I go.. Me 'bout to vent of course.. I'm tired of ALWAYS being the ONE people talk 'bout their problems with.. I need a vacation.. I wish I could just drop everything that I'm doing and just catch the next flight to Baltimore or Los Angeles.. Shoot.. lay on some one's beach or something.. With frank ocean on repeat.. Thank you Lord for my sanity.. I need to be somewhere were its just me && God! Meditate or something lol.. Like seriously I don't really mind being the source of advice or just pure relaxation [take it how YOU want], but it gets a little annoying.. I see people complain 'bout little stuff, when in reality their better off than MOST people I know.. Like who cares.. Just get over it! I do! LOL.. I just hope I really am some sort of assistance to them and their "issues".. I'm really ready to graduate! And just go off and do my own thing you know?! Maybe move somewhere were no one knows my name or abilities! START OVER! I need some new ones! Anyways I don't really wanna go into too much detail or vent TOO much.. lol... There is three things that have remained consistent && constant and they are Jesus, my family && my love for dance! Y'all get the point! All the excess stuff I can do without! I love YOU!

-Kidd

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

Dang babe! YOU doing too much! lol..

*side bar: hit me up on twitter: @spider_kee08 :]

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

I think pretty soon, I'm going to clean my room; and "deep" clean, meaning=dust && vacuum.. Maybe..

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

I have a job interview THIS Sunday; all I can say is God's timing is WWAAYY better than OUR timing; thank you Lord; all the praise belongs to YOU!

-Kidd

SMILE! :)

SoMeTiMeS i FeEl LiKe ThIs..

"I do not hate or dislike men; I have a boyfriend, but I still want to represent a strong, independent woman who is not co-dependent on her relationship or society,"-Kiesha

I DiGg ThIs..

"I never really considered myself a role model, because I wasn't doing anything special; I was just being myself, living life,"-Kiesha

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

So I was pondering, does irritability come with the territory? Who knows?

-Kidd

So ThIs MaKeS mE fEeL bEtTeR; eSpEcIaLlY 'bOuT mY lAsT pOsT..

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

I guess people want what they don't have, because just listening to others stories you soon realize what they want most at this moment in time.. Sometimes it's an acceptance letter, friends or even a boyfriend/girlfriend.. What I want is nicknamed the "root of all evil"; I guess I do understand that concept, but to some degree you need it, just for simple necessities.. So what do we do? I sometimes feel like if I had it, I wouldn't be so bitter or sad.. But who knows, that probably wouldn't be the truth.. It's almost like I'm holding on to a dollar and a dream, literally.. I'm still uneasy about this subject, but I can ONLY have faith in God, and know that he will provide for me in every way possible, even financially.. I just need guidance, tolerance, and patience..

-Kidd

"..Keep writing, Keep living, Keep loving.."-Frank Ocean

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

Righteousness and Holiness are two different things.. Society wants righteousness, but God wants Holiness.. So, which one do you choose? Think about it..

-Kidd :)

Happy [early] Father's Day! :)

PaRt ii..

DeAr DiArY..

So here it goes.. There are probably going to be about a billion more entries dealing with this topic, but I guess this'll be the first one.. There are many variations of people, but ONLY one race that we all are associated with.. THE HUMAN RACE! Isn't that more important; does it matter what variation we are?! We are all made differently, talk differently, walk differently, etc. I mean the list goes on.. And sometimes everyone isn't going to relate or like those peculiar concepts, but it's up to US to accept OUR OWN SELVES, I REPEAT IT'S UP TO US.. I may not be as tall, skinny, flat-chested, but I'm OK with that.. Isn't that all that matters?! I don't care how people view me physically, because I know when I look in the mirror it's ONLY me && my reflection.. And in my opinion I think I look GREAT! No let's not confuse that with cockiness but it's mere confidence.. I cannot downgrade myself just so I can relate or make you feel at ease.. I cannot help when others compliment me or say certain things that may make you feel insecure.. I am who I AM.. It took sometime to accept me for ME! And YOU and NO ONE else is going to blur my view of my true inner character.. Beauty has several standards, I mean let's be real who states the qualifications for beauty?! Skin color has NOTHING to do with that! AT ALL! REALIZE THAT! Confidence and acceptance comes from within.. It starts from our roots and foundations.. The people we are today are a result of either our past and/or our experiences in life.. Beauty is more than skin deep.. That's OBVIOUS! where you been at?! You out of everybody should known I am not a judgemental ESPECIALLY when it comes to skin color and/or beauty! God is the ultimate BEAUTY in my opinion, and we ALL were made in HIS image therefore we ALL are B E A T I F U L! To be continued..

NuFf SaId..

I want a job. point. blank. period. :)

Go-Go! :)

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

I haven't kissed my boyfriend in 31 days; actually I thought it would have been longer than that.. Well I guess it's not THAT bad; but the sad thing is it'll probably be a couple more months before I even get to see him.. Well I guess patience is the key :)

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

Satan is probably one of the dumbest creatures I know; this wicked encounter is actually going to make me want to worship God more; if Satan only knew.. I love you Lord!

-Kidd :)

*I would like to take this time to give a very special shout out to my little cousin Venterria Leake. She is extremely adorable, lovable && simply a wonderful person :) *

My SaNiTy && PeAcE oF mInD= jEsUs :)

PrAyErS tHaT rOuT dEmOnS & bReAk CuRsEs By JoHn EcKhArDt :)

I receive healing and health through the blood of jesus.

I receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit and the anointing through the blood of Jesus.

I rebuke and cast out all spirits of slander and accusation through the blood of Jesus (Matt. 12:10).

Let all the enemies that make war with the Lamb be destroyed (Rev. 17:14).

I close the door to every demonic rat that would attempt to come into my life in the name of Jesus (Isa. 66:17).

I bind and cast out every thief that would try to steal my finances in the name of Jesus.

I bind and cast out all seducing spirits that would come my way in the name of Jesus (1 Tim. 4:1).

SoMeTiMeS i FeEl LiKe ThIs..

RaNdOm ThOuGhT..

I want to transform into the person that God wants me to be; forget the world, yall can have it; I got to do what's best for me, because my deliverance is the result of someone else's breakthrough! :)

-Kidd



I dIgG tHiS..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

My DaY tOdAy..

Everyday is a good day, some are just better than others; just because the day didn't go the way that I wanted it to, doesn't mean that it was necessarily a bad day. I woke up in a pretty good mood, nothing unusual. I got up ate a bowl of cereal, my utmost favorite and brushed my teeth. Pretty normal. I went to plato's closet and dropped off three bags of clothes. Two hours later I came back. My brother and sister had dropped clothes off as well. My little sister profited $40 while my borther profited $80! So I was for sure I was getting paid! When the clerk told me my total I was in complete shock! My total came to $5.60! Yes! 5 FREAKIN' DOLLARS! I can't even lie I was pissed! More about the principle than the money. I thought it wasn't fair and slick had an upside down smile, I hate when that happens. I tried to brush it off, because it wasn't a big deal, I just thought that it meant God was going to provide for me financially in the future! We later went to the mall, which was cool. I saw an old friend from school, so that got my mind off of finances for a while. Then a so called "Friend" texted me; displaying her selfishness, which pissed me off again! I think it was just the enemy. I hope I passed that test! I shouldn't have thought those thoughts, I asked God to forgive me. We also went to Wally World, momma bought me some new undergarments, I know exciting huh?! (I don't mean that sarcastically). They're pretty! Then I later went to the good will to drop off all the clothes that plato's closet "did not want", I figured someone would benefit from my clothes and needed them more than I did, so what if I wasn't getting the money in my pocket. The doctor said that sometimes what people do, say or act will affect us. It's not a good thing it's just human nature. Jesus was affected by what other people did and said, when he wept for Jerusalem. But we cannot let that rob us of our joy or determine if we are going to have a good day. We have an internal joy that does not relate to our "current" surroundings and circumstances. Thank you Lord for your grace! I know it's not possible to be happy allllllll the time, trust me I know! But I just wish I wouldn't have let what those other people did affect and rob me of having a good day. People do not define me or my life, so why did I let it affect my day today? I took a nap afterwards which was the highlight of my day! Well that and that wisdom that that wonderful man shared with me! I am not sure exactly what God is doing, but I know he has my best interest at heart, and wants better for me than I want for myself. A lot of the times when we go through things, it's for the benefit of other people(we get blessed to be a blessing); we never know who we can bless, so that's why we have to endure, because of the bright future a head of us (Heaven). Thank you Lord! Lord, I pray you give me tolerance and awareness. I pray for humbleness and meekness. I pray for assurance and a calm temper! Thank you for your Word! THAT MAN is truly blessed! Lord I pray you bless him tremendously! I love you Lord! Amen! :)

I sToLe ThIs..

No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means-the only complete realist.

                                                                -C.S. Lewis

ThIs Is WhAt BoReDoM dOeS tO yOu..